This Is What Happened...

So I finished watching that movie that was made about Justin Bieber the other night..yes I can admit it..it happened. And, I can admit I have seen worse movies. I wasn't caught by it. I'm not a Belieber and definitely didn't catch Bieber Fever, but I will say this. It made you believe in something. It was weird but when he was on the stage and there were thousands of overcome girls singing along, knowing all the words, and celebrating his music, his life, and somehow the something greater that was in him, it made me want the same thing. No, I don't want to be on stage, and I don't want tens of thousands of people screaming after me because they think I am the answer to the ache in their hearts. I'm becoming quit content in my nights alone and days at the sea side. No, I mean I want to be celebrated like that. I want to think that life is meant for something more than heartache and death. It feels like we should all be destined for such a place, a place where we...

I am learning to watch T.V. A couple years ago I bought a 42 inch LCD 1080p T.V....off brand on sale. I'm not sure whether this makes me sound cool or lame. Techies think I'm lame because my T.V. is a couple years old, environmentalists and monastics think this makes me sounds shallow and materialistic. Well, in my own vain defense...it is the first T.V. I bought as an adult, plus all the Techies probably have better blogs to be on and the monastics are busy at Vespers so I should be good. T.V. is now almost a daily part of my life and it may be a sign of one of the greatest things I've learned in the last couple years. I know I'm getting a little older when watching infomercials has me thinking, “That's kind of cool!..” and somewhere in the back of my head is a small voice telling me to call before I loose the special bonus pack with a Yoshi blade that can cut through a boot. I love cutting boots. My dad has had numerous exercise machines in our house over time...

MLK day...also known as Martin Luther King's birthday. Today I was off of work and so went down to Tin Can books. It's this used book store on the corner of H near the plaza. It was the first time I'd been in there and it felt like a place out of a novel. The books shelves were tall, reaching to the ceiling, piled high with old books with folded and faded covers staring out at you from the shelves, all ancient and stoic. Even the fiction full of bright colors with creased bindings exuded a quiet joy, like they were happy to be there, like they'd found their true resting place...then again, maybe it was my joy they seemed to exude. Maybe I felt at home there a little bit, able to relax where I hadn't been in the last few days. I made my way to the second floor. As I headed up the creaking wooden floorboards I let my hand run over the guide rail. It had been rubbed smooth with use and age. I wouldn't trust it to hold my weight but I let it lead me to the skyli...

I thought I'd share with you all one of my journals tonight.... I am not sure if I am being tested, or maybe I've never asked the question of people, but I have had a couple people message me out of no where or imply via our conversations that they did not believe the things I have struggled with are wrong...God doesn't care about them, He loves me. And I agree, He will always love me but I struggle with this view point, although I understand why. It is so hard to say it's wrong when what it seems you are saying no to is "love." ... I suppose I am not saying no to love, however, I am saying no to not trusting the person who claims to be love, whom I have met as love. One of my friends said of a piece of writing she had read, from one of my early chapters, that it was hard to hear about, the heartache, to think that God would allow such fevers of the heart. She said she thought God was probably ok with it in her opinion, that life was meant to be more rich th...

So, after two years and the initial two posts never being shown to anyone, I have finally decided to resurrect this partially developed blog.  I am going to try to make an active effort at blogging every week. And, if I suck at actually getting things written..please feel free to write impatient comments. Below I've included a couple of facebook notes I've written since getting to Arcata.  There is nothing special here.  Just some of my thoughts.  I will also be adding one for today as I have the afternoon off on this beautiful MLK state recognized holiday afternoon.  Hope your all well.  .... So, in the last two years I have developed some pretty stellar community in Eau Claire. I have been challenged and loved and encouraged. Unfortunately I do not have time to say goodbye to everyone. Truthfully, most of you are gone over breaks, celebrating Christmas or New Years and visiting family. This is ok, but...for many of you we have already said...