I don't know how to do this. I always thought forming community was easy, it was just a matter of being proactive; going to enough church potlucks and bringing brownies to your small group. It was about being present and playing sports and getting in there. I suppose that is all sort of true but it's not the easy thing I thought it would be. After having recently moved west to the California coast I've had to test my theories. When you're 29 there are no organized playground games. There is no four square. You cannot just go out to recess and make friends while playing tether-ball. There are no “welcome to adulthood” orientations where men and women a few years older take you across campus to show you the ropes. There is no seminar on instigating meaningful friendships within a group that already exists without seeming needy or insecure. There is especially no senior center where on Friday nights all the people your age go to play bingo and drink prune juice. It...